Cemetaries

So on Father’s Day weekend, I ended up going to a cemetery.  Waiting in the car I looked at the beautiful smooth  green lawn, the shading trees, the little flags and flowers people left on the graves, as if to plant a memory. I thought of the sadness and the loss. I thought about that it’s all over so soon, too soon. First, we’re busy, then  so busy, then too busy and then it’s over. Boom.

We lose someone we care about. We feel sadness, we miss love, or closeness, or maybe just an opportunity for  it to have been better.  Yet we’re willing to argue, stop communicating, cut ties. Why are we so willing to do that – to cut ties, keep others away? Do we just let our anger and disappointment win? For how long? Are we really protecting ourselves? From what?

I’d never think we shouldn’t protect ourselves from hurt and from badness. Even with forgiveness we don’t need to open  ourselves again to hurt, but then are we being fierce or are we being hopeless?

Can we  handle discord or arguments? Can we manage our disappointments?  

People say, “I don’t want to be confrontational, I don’t want conflict.” What are we scared of? Are we scared of other people and their feelings? We keep ourselves at a distance and then we’re  also lonely.

Do we want to fix our relationships? Do we believe there’s a possibility for things to be better? Or is it that we’re so sure we’ll be damaged by the relationship that we don’t even want to try?