Hate to Argue?

People say they don’t want to argue; they don’t like confrontation. But it’s possible to talk with someone who has different ideas and not argue with them. It’s possible even if you don’t agree with them, even if you think you can’t make them understand what you’re trying to say. You don’t have to feel like you’re being a bad person. Of course it could be you’ve tried before, and you think you already know what they’re going to say so you just don’t  even want to try.

Some conversations with some people seem like they always go the wrong way. And that’s a problem when you just want to get your point across or tell them something or just plain explain your ideas and it seems like they don’t want to listen.

It might not feel any better if you hold  back. And if this goes on time after time, you could just give up. You may not even try to say your ideas at all and maybe just really resent the other person or even be angry with yourself for not trying anymore.

No one wants to feel little and unimportant in conversations. Or feel guilty about disagreeing, like if we disagree with someone we’re being impolite, or rude or just a bad person.

I learned this: if you really want to be heard, say less.

Don’t respond to them by telling a long story as a way of explaining. The other guy  may become impatient and then you’ve lost their attention. Have a plan for your response so you’re not caught off guard. Help yourself feel less frustrated.

This approach changes your relationship kind of automatically because you’re taking your  conversation power back. It  won’t hurt the other person. It just helps them to slow down and maybe pay better attention.

Why not give it a try?